How To Get Into Heaven

1–2 minutes

Brother Ted Martin died and went to heaven.

He was met at the front gate by St. Peter, who let him know that he needed one hundred points to make it in the pearly gates.

“You tell me all the good things you have done, and I’ll give you points according to your deed. When you reach one hundred, I’ll swing open the gates.”

“Okay,” Brother Martin reported, “I was head usher at First Baptiste for fifty years.”

“That’s wonderful,” says Peter, “that’s worth two points.”

“I was married to the same woman for almost sixty-five years and never cheated on her.”

“Remarkable,” Peter declared, “here are three more points.”

“Only three?” Ted frowned. “How about this? I started a soup kitchen in the inner city and worked in a homeless shelter.”

“Terrific, and here are two more points.”

Brother Martin’s eyes opened wide, and he yelled,

“Two points! At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God!”

“Come on in!”

 

@Southpark/Giphy

Joke taken from: The World’s Greatest Collection of Church Jokes Compiled and Edited by Paul M. Miller

 

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26 responses to “How To Get Into Heaven”

  1. And it really is that simple!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it is that simple. It is one of those things that you would say it is too good to be true. Yet it is true. 🙂 Thank you for reading and sharing.

      Like

    1. Glad you like it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad you enjoy it. I do also. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed it is great. I love it.🙂

      Like

  2. […] How To Get Into Heaven — Read on becomingtheoilandwine.com/2020/05/29/how-to-get-into-heaven/ […]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Praise the Lord. Only by the grace of God.🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I can stand on nothing else.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes by God’s grace in Christ, God says come on in 🙂

    Like

  4. […] By Beverly: How To Get Into Heaven […]

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Love this! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. This one is a winner!😄

      Liked by 1 person

  6. […] How To Get Into Heaven — Read on becomingtheoilandwine.com/2020/05/29/how-to-get-into-heaven/ […]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the reblogged.

      Like

  7. Great ending and I was not expecting it. Thanks for the post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes! Quite an unexpected ending. I love it.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Very powerful post. This is our heart cry. Oh Lord may we not miss heaven. Amen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Amen. May we not miss heaven indeed. Blessings.

      Like

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