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How To Get Into Heaven

Brother Ted Martin died and went to heaven.

He was met at the front gate by St. Peter, who let him know that he needed one hundred points to make it in the pearly gates.

“You tell me all the good things you have done, and I’ll give you points according to your deed. When you reach one hundred, I’ll swing open the gates.”

“Okay,” Brother Martin reported, “I was head usher at First Baptiste for fifty years.”

“That’s wonderful,” says Peter, “that’s worth two points.”

“I was married to the same woman for almost sixty-five years and never cheated on her.”

“Remarkable,” Peter declared, “here are three more points.”

“Only three?” Ted frowned. “How about this? I started a soup kitchen in the inner city and worked in a homeless shelter.”

“Terrific, and here are two more points.”

Brother Martin’s eyes opened wide, and he yelled,

“Two points! At this rate the only way I’ll get into heaven is by the grace of God!”

“Come on in!”

 

@Southpark/Giphy

Joke taken from: The World’s Greatest Collection of Church Jokes Compiled and Edited by Paul M. Miller

 

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