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I am Searching for a Man!

I am searching for a man to hold me tenderly; to whisper sweet endearments in my ears; to cuddle and caress me but above all I want a man who will love and accept me for who I am and not who he perceives. I want a man who can communicate with me and respect me as his equal because I am not his property.

The above sentiments are every mature young ladies desires and dream in a man. They are no longer looking for the fairy tale ‘tall dark and handsome knight in shining armor’ who will sweep them off their feet and later dump them in the deep dark forest. They are looking less at the outward glamour and more at the internal characteristics.

It is full time that we take back the ‘happily ever after’ from the pages of the fairy tale books and put them into the reality of our marriages. A happy and successful marriage was God’s original plan for all of us from the beginning of creation.


In the society today, the image of men has been slowly demoralized. In many of the television sitcoms and commercials, men have been portrayed as weak, indecisive and even downright stupid at times.

On the news, most of the mass killings in the schools or other institutions have been done by men. Even the most recent shooting in California on May 23, 2014, was done by a mentally challenged 22-year-old young man. (CNN News)

These shooting incidents have been releasing the spirit of fear in many people especially young girls, and many of them are becoming fearful and distrustful of men.

Many young ladies believe that all men are capable of these horrendous crimes. This belief is a plot of the enemy to destroy the foundation of the family. If he defeats the men by releasing his destructive spirits of death (murder, suicide, slaughter); anger; pride into the hearts of men then he would ultimately destroy the society and the nation.

Even though these men took their lives after they had done their atrocities, the shooting incidents do not end but it continues. The problems do not originate with the individual (flesh and blood) but with the spirits (principalities) that are released by the enemy in the atmosphere.

The fight is not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12).

Therefore, we come against every ruler of the darkness and evil spirits, and we rebuke and destroy them from the lives of our men, women and children. We release the spirits of love, peace and unity in the atmosphere, and we will continue to declare the good spirits from God over our lives until the enemy is rendered powerless.

June is the month when most couples get married, and it is also the month that we celebrate Father’s Day. I know that most times the men are more pressured and they sometimes feel as if they are carrying the world on their shoulders.

In spite of how much or how hard they work for us, they feel as if they are not being appreciated enough. Therefore, for the entire month, this blog will be celebrating and uplifting all men.

God has given men a prominent role in the family and to whom much is given much is expected of them. Therefore, when a marriage fails, and a family is broken, God placed all the blame on the men. Do you believe this?

Are the men responsible for all the problems in the home?

‘Teeth and tongue must meet!’ This phrase is a proverbial saying among the elderly folks in Jamaica. It means that every marriage must have quarrel and contentions. Is this a fact?

Image by David Castillo - Free digital photos

Image by David Castillo – Free digital photos

True or false? No man can be faithful to one woman; after all, to every man there are two women!

All marital problems can be solved with a good sex! Many men believe this. Are you one of those men?

Wives must be submissive to their husbands! When a woman is not submissive, the marriage will fail?

These are some of the many questions and statements that have been baffling young people for many years. These were some of the issues that confronted me when I got married. I went to many marriage counselors but remained dissatisfied with the answers.

When I went to God for counselling, I found that He had all the answers. I then realized how much ‘I was ignorant and foolish. I was like a beast before the Lord’ (Psalms 73:22).

Where there is a lack of knowledge, the people perish. If you lack knowledge from the Lord, your marriage, family and the society will die. It is, therefore, necessary for us to seek the Lord for wisdom and understanding.

Your valuable input is needed so share with us your thoughts in the reply box below on the above issues and let us start a conversation.


  1. I grew up without a father or a positive male role model in our house. All my brothers taught me to be with as many women as I can. Then I got married the first time and thought her job was to cater to me and keep me happy. And when she fail short I kept score. Today I have a healthy marriage because I go to God for advice and He is teaching me how to be a leader of my home, something I knew nothing about. I’m so blessed to have a wife who supports me in my headship role because that makes all the difference and sadly most women today don’t know their roles in a marriage.


    • Thank God for men like you who are willing to humble themselves and allow God to teach you to be a good husband and father. Only God has all the answers so we need to allow him to teach us.


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