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Help! I Made my Bed in Hell Part One

Were there ever days when you felt like you were sleeping in living hell? Some of us can even attest to experiencing hell on earth. I think I can honestly say that that has happened to me. I will share with you how I met God one night while I felt as though I was going through hell.
Even though I have been a Christian for many years I was not knowledgeable about the sanctuary of God. I thought that it was the literal church building and God dwells in it on a Sunday morning or during nightly service. After learning that the church is the people of God who have been washed in the blood of Christ and is not the actual building, I then extended my definition of the sanctuary to mean my prayer life and my bible study time.

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Whenever anyone said, “the Lord said to me…” I interpreted that to mean that the Lord spoke to the person from the bible. I did not believe that it was possible to hear the voice of God literally as those great men of God did in the bible. My belief was changed approximately three years ago when I sought the Lord for a closer relationship with him. After the trauma of a broken marriage, I became desperate for God.

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was impossible for me to raise two teenage children in my adopted homeland (Tortola) without the support of a husband and relatives. The enemy knew this also and he immediately began to set traps to torment and paralyze me. He sent two spirits to do his dirty work. They were the spirits of fear and loneliness and they came under many disguises.

They attacked my mind until I began to have nightly panic attacks. For several nights, I felt as though I was making my bed in hell. I began to have terrible thoughts. I feared that I would die suddenly and left my children with no one to care for them. Those frightful thoughts would wake me in the middle of the night with pounding heart and shortness of breath. Finally, I cried unto God in prayer and He directed my words as I prayed to rebuke the spirit of fear. It was then that I realized who the culprit for my state was.

When I identified this spirit and eradicated it from my life I began to think more clearly. The Lord then directed me to a passage of scripture in Ephesians. This scripture was first given to me by one of my church sisters in Jamaica. She told me to read it every night over my marriage. I began to read it but because I could not understand it I put it aside. That was a mistake.

However, on this occasion, I refused to give up reading this passage on a nightly basis even though I still did not fully understand it. Finally my persistence paid off and one night as I read the passage, clarity came to my heart and my spiritual eyes became enlightened. I immediately realized that the passage was a prayer asking God for His spirit of wisdom and revelation to know him.

It is impossible to know God or have a relationship with Him unless He gave me His spirit of wisdom and revelation. When I received the outpouring of His spirit on my life I recognized that the same calling that was on the lives of the saints in the bible was also on my life. The same power that God used to raise Christ from the dead He also gave to me to put my enemy in subjection under my feet and to be above and not beneath.

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It is by faith that I know that Christ dwells in my heart and is speaking to me and directing my life. It is this knowledge that rooted and grounded me in love and strengthened me. It is also this knowledge that filled me with the fullness of God. Consequently, I was able to love my brothers and sisters in humility and without hypocrisy.

I shunned that which was evil and held on only to the good. I certainly will not be weary in doing well because I knew I will eventually reap if I faint not. Indeed, the race is not for the swift but those who endure to the end. That night was the turning point of my life because I began to hear the voice of God. He was speaking to me from my spiritual heart, but it was difficult for me to decipher His voice because of all the clutter and noise in my life.

The Lord then told me to get rid of the clutter and kill the noise. The clutter in my life was the many television shows that I watched in all my spare time and the decorating books that I read while lusting for the beautiful homes within their pages. The noise in my life was my materialistic desires. It was not easy for me to obey the Lord because my dreams were my anchor that kept me focus in spite of my trials.

However, I realized that this anchor was no longer steadfast and I was slowly sinking. I decided to release the clutter and kill the noise. I gave up my dreams and put out all the encumbrances in my life. The Lord then began to clean out all the dirt and grime in my heart until I became an empty vessel. An empty vessel needs to be filled and that was what God did for me. He poured His spirit of wisdom and revelation in my heart until I overflowed.

I then realized that this was the secret place or sanctuary of God. In this place, I am completely protected from the enemy because the Lord planted a hedge of protection around me. My experience reminded me of Esther, a young Jewish girl who was chosen by God to be the queen of the Persian kingdom. The children of Israel were living in captivity and the Lord was preparing a protective armor for them. The Lord knew that the enemy would plot to destroy them and so He placed Esther into the kingdom for such a time.

When she was told that it was time to rise up and protect her people from mass destruction she sought the Lord in fasting and prayer to overcome the spirit of fear. Her mind and spirit had to be cleansed before she could enter the throne room of the king. The king showed her favor by extending his golden scepter of mercy to her so that her life and that of her people would be spared.

The Lord will do the same for you when you give Him your complete life and relinquish all the stuff that cluttered your life. He will cleanse you and give you favor.

If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. (Psalms 139: 8)

I can truly say that I have been through hell, but God was there for me.

Help! I mas my bed in hell Part Two is the prayer for spiritual wisdom and revelation from God. Copy it and read it every night as a prayer unto God. He will surely answer you because it is His will that we all abide permanently in His sanctuary.

References: Ephesians 1: 17-22; 3:19; 4:13; Romans 12:9-21; Galatians 6: 6-10

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