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Laugh With St Peter

Have you ever wondered why St Peter is a popular character in church jokes?

He always seem to be the keeper of heaven’s pearly gates. If you know the answer, post it in the comment box below.

Nevertheless, St Peter seems to be a hard worker with a great sense of humor.

So, here are some fun “St Peter’s jokes.” I hope that they will be a great start to your weekend.

When eating healthy is bad for you!

An elderly couple, admitted by St. Peter through the Pearly Gates, found conditions there just heavenly.

Said the man to his wife, “I could have been here two years ago if you hadn’t fed me all that oat bran.”

Be careful how you choose (1)

A computer salesman dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells the salesman that he can choose between heaven and hell. First he shows the man heaven, where people in white robes play harps and float around.

“Dull,” says the salesman.

Next, St. Peter shows him hell: toga parties, excellent food and wine, and everyone looking as though he’s having a wonderful time.

“I’ll take hell,” he says.

He enters the gates of hell and is immediately set upon by a dozen demons who poke him with pitchforks. “Hey,” the salesman demands as Satan walks past, “what happened to the party I saw going on?”

“Ah,” Satan replies. “You must have seen our demo.”

Be careful how you choose (2)

A human-resources director found herself at the Pearly Gates. “We’ve never had a human-resources director here before,” said St. Peter. “So we’re going to let you spend one day in heaven and one in hell, and you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“I’ll go to hell first and get it over with,” said the HR director.

To her surprise she spent a wonderful day with her former fellow executives, playing golf on a beautiful course. The game was followed by a sumptuous meal at the clubhouse. When she returned to heaven, she spent her day there sitting in a cloud, playing a harp.

“Have you decided where you’d like to spend eternity?” St. Peter asked.

“Yes,” she said, “heaven was great, but too boring. I choose hell.”

“Okay,” said St. Peter, “off you go.”



This time when she arrived in hell, she found everything barren and desolate. Confused, she confronted Satan. “Where’s the golf course?” she asked. “And where are my friends?”

Satan smiled. “Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you’re staff!”

Source: Reader’s Digest

The Missing pearly gates

One fine day in Heaven, St. Peter was sitting by the Pearly Gates when two guys wearing hoodies arrived.

St. Peter wasn’t quite sure what to do with these men in hoodies, so he looked out through the gates and said to them, “Wait here. I will be right back”.

St. Peter went over to God’s chambers and told him who was waiting to come in.

God said to St. Peter, “How many times do I have to tell you Peter, you can’t be judgmental here. This is Heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!”

So St. Peter went back to the Pearly Gates, looked around and let out a heavy sigh.

He returned to God’s chambers and said, “Well, they’re gone”.

“The guys wearing hoodies?” God asked.

“No”, St. Peter replied, “the Pearly Gates!”

Source: Laughline

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