On the 14th of September, I told myself I’ll be doing some devotion. Now, just for insight, I’ve been struggling with a few things and God was teaching me things, especially on the topic of marriage.

I was wondering if I would ever find a partner, just earlier in the week, and while scrolling through TikTok, I would be met with a lot of young Christians talking about dating and asking God for a spouse.

One of the things God taught me was that I shouldn’t ask Him for a spouse, especially as a single woman because of this promise:

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in His holy dwelling. (Psalms 68:5)

For your Maker is your husband—
the Lord Almighty is His name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
He is called the God of all the earth. (Isaiah 54:5)

As a young single and fatherless woman, God taught me what marriage was about—the husband was supposed to be a representation of Him, a direct covering over me—someone who God will appoint to hold such a position, but until then, He would cover me directly, so I need not worry about anything.

However, I still struggled with accepting this.

Until the 14th of September. As I was scrolling through TikTok (completely neglecting the fact that I was supposed to be doing devotion), one of the videos struck me—the TikToker said maybe the reason why some of you are all so ‘thirsty’ is because you didn’t drink from the living well.

But here’s the thing that God struck me with—the word ‘thirsty’ in modern lingo means to go after or long for a sensuous or intimate relationship. And then, immediately the story of the woman at the well popped up.

We all know the Samaritan woman. Jesus asks her for a drink and immediately she begins by asking what Jesus wanted with her.

She was a Samaritan and He was a Jew, and as we all know, Samaritans and Jews don’t quite get along. But Jesus proceeds to tell her that if she knew who was asking she would ask him for living water.

So, hence a conversation starts. This woman is still thinking about literal water, but Christ was talking about something much deeper than just that.

And when it came near the end of the conversation, she asked Christ for some of this ‘living water’ and Christ told her to get her husband.

We always wondered why Jesus would ask her to bring her husband. After all, Jesus could’ve just given her this water.

But Jesus highlighted an issue a lot of women face today—our struggles with realizing God is the God of intimacy. We should desire Him alone, and once we desire only Him we would never ‘thirst’ again.

He is the one who fulfills us and satisfies us and His love is ever-flowing and can never run dry. Because of this, He becomes the ultimate husband—it’s the reason why God uses marriage as an illustration for Israel and the Church.

In the beginning, the covenant of marriage was broken the minute Adam disobeyed God and allowed his wife to fall into danger.

He neglected to cover her and even blamed God for giving her to him for his disobedience. He failed to satisfy his wife, leaving her open to desiring and ‘thirsting’ after other things.

This broken marriage resulted in God deciding to establish a new covenant. Sexual sin would always be prevalent because of this broken unity from the beginning.

But God is able to restore that by providing for us the Holy Spirit—a new covenant we can become one with—a covenant that will never leave us dissatisfied.

The reason why Jesus asked this Samaritan woman to bring her husband was because she was struggling with this very thing—Jesus illustrated her lifestyle: that she had five husbands and the one she was with wasn’t even hers.

This would be defined in modern-day lingo as the ultimate ‘thirsty woman’. There was something lacking in her life.

Christ said He was able to fill that hole—He was the living water.

God told me that women who pray asking Him for a husband is directly insulting Him and who He is.

Photo by Avonne Stalling from Pexels

God says He is a husband to the widows—this includes unmarried women. When we pray and ask God for a spouse or a husband, we directly tell God He cannot satisfy us, that He isn’t enough.

This was the mistake Israel made in Ezekiel 16. God saw her unwanted and undesired, and He took her in, showed her love, and made a commitment to her—that He would forever be her God.

Yet, Israel wanted more. She no longer desired God and thus, chased after other false idols, telling God He wasn’t enough. And even though she chased after these men who abused her and used her, she still was unsatisfied.

As women and as Christians we must remember that our full trust must be in God.

We should have no other want or desire but God, and when our hearts are fully in God, if He desires, He will lead us to the person He knows is the perfect ambassador of the covenant He made with us.

We aren’t to chase a husband or pray for a husband, but rather pray and ask God to cover us and ask God to give us a heart where we are satisfied with Him alone. Whether or not we are single, God is our ultimate defender.

God, as a defense of those who are husbandless and fatherless, cares so much about them, that He said His wrath would be personally kindled against anyone who arms these people.

This is the only specific situation where God’s anger will be aroused and He promises to kill those who oppress these people.

“Do not take advantage of the widow or the fatherless. If you do and they cry out to Me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.” (Exodus 22:22-24)

In the end, the book of James reminds us of this—our religion is worthless if we don’t look after the orphans and widows and keep ourselves from being defiled by this world.

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:26-27

Are you thirsty?

If you are, let me invite you to drink from the living water where you will never thirst again.

Published by Nickay

Nickay is a fashion designer, blogger, and author born in Jamaica, but raised in the British Virgin Islands. She's a recent graduate of the Fashion Institute of Technology (2021), where she majored in fashion design. View all posts by Nickay